16 October 2008 by Kirsty.

Thursday 16th October, 8am (read in Geordie accent a la big brother)

I have to start this blog up again as the preparation for this Tits Up event is more comical than the show. At least it’s in line with its title. Flipping Nora. We’ve had one rehearsal and we’re up in 2 weeks! I feel permanently sick. Can’t write loads now as I have to hot foot it to Waterloo to audition a girl for Tina’s stripper role given our recent casting conundrum. Lets hope she can play 17  and is happy to pretend to have a bun in the oven. Meanwhile our flyer is too big for the printers, our rehearsal venue seems to be mafioso run, Dicky’s mother has lost her teeth (in real life- poor thing) and there aren’t enough hours in the day for a full time job, casting, rehearsing, producing and sleeping. Chat later…

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29 October 2007 by Kirsty.

At Network Theatre, London:

Read through:
Tuesday 13 November
Doors open 6.30 pm
Reading starts 7.00 pm

Auditions:
Thursday 15 and
Thursday 22 November
Doors open at 6.30 pm

Performances:
Tuesday 12 to
Saturday 16 February 2008

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27 August 2007 by Kirsty.

So that’s it… CLASS is over. At least it will be in 40 minutes. What a massive anti climax.

Class is running and I’m sitting in the caff across the road! Had to get away. I can’t stand watching something I’m embarrassed of. The cast are trying to play pranks on eachother but unfortunately aren’t professional enough to pull it off in front of a paying audience and I am dying of embarrassment. It’s one thing being professional enough to carry off private jokes that the audience can’t see. It’s another to corpse, go bright red and not deliver your lines when you see a wig and a merkin on the friggin Gitan in front of 45 people who have paid good money to see their final show of the festival. It’s like watching some junior nativity play where Mary refuses to kiss Joseph and where Jesus wets himself in the manger. Shame to end on such a note. Can’t wait to get back to reality and spend some quality time with family and friends.

Just been in to the Paradise Green (venue) office and worked out how much dosh we’ve made. We came 7th out of 50 odd shows in terms of takings at their venue. They judge a play’s success on whether the ticket sales covered the venue cost. It did. We’ve done well. And now, here it all ends, and here I am writing. Again. May be my next venture will be writing sans acteurs. A novel perhaps…. once I’ve written the Suburban Spaceman!

Good night and that’s a wrap, classy people xxxx

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27 August 2007 by Kirsty.

Haven’t made it on to the old blog for a few days. Hectic with family and friends up. Everyone’s been asking about those ruddy golden bats. They’re good rather than bad! It’s like having a 4 star review but because the reviewer is some wild n crazy kid focussing on ‘dark comedy’ he’s accredited us with bats (of the flying species) instead of stars. Hmm. The Thatcher Blair bit is his interpretation and something that all reviewers seem to read in to all plays. Note to self: Set up own reviewing website and apply for press IDs for next Fringe festival, get in to all shows for free and scroll ruthless critique on the back of a fag packet to be uploaded on to said poxy review site 2 weeks later when the show is practically over anyway. Also buy flat up here and rent out for copious amounts of dosh to strapped-for-cash theatre companies and purchase mini-cab (no need to obtain Edinburgh knowledge as none of them know where they’re going) and make double the dosh ferrying drunk actors back to their random homes miles out on the beach.
Seen a few more shows up here. Dirty Linen one about MPs was atrocious. Fantastic one about a kidnapper and a kidnappee- The Collector. Am going to see a dance show tonight. Traces. It’s got rave reviews. Saw a bit of stand up. Had to stand up (ha ha) it was so full.
Got to get rid of all the rest of our flyers today, sort out box office payment from theatre and work out how to load up car with stuff. Also trying to work out how much dosh we’ve made and how we split it… A massive thank you to Network Theatre for allowing me to negotiate a cut of box office takings in London. Without that and the fundraiser, I think we’d be in the red.

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23 August 2007 by Kirsty.

Had a reviewer in last night who focusses on dark shows and picked out our flyer as dark… He has accredited us with 4 gold bats as opposed to stars. Grrrrr. Those wild n crazy kids… He’s yet to publish the review but our show is apparently “a raunchy farce with a bit of social comment for all those left behind by Thatchers Britain and Blair’s New Labour or those succeeding in spite of them..” Well, I wouldn’t exactly put it like that but then again I only wrote it.
Stayed out too late last night and feel crappy this morning. Going to do my little trip to the Turkish bath to see if I can clear it. Had interesting night. Got chatting to a guy who used to write soft porn for a living! Used to get paid 3p per word for a mainstream Norwegian magazine and got sacked for it not being erotic enough. Hee hee. Thought that was dead funny. And he performed as a meercat in the Lion King. You meet other performers, writers and directors when you’re flyering too. Interesting place. Went to see Mestopholes Smith the previous night after our show. The Richard O’Brian evangelist from hell play. God, it was dia. Is that how you spell dia? As in diabolical? Quite fitting for that play actually… the dancing and singing was great - it’s fronted by the lead singer of the Stranglers who’s got a great voice but the audience participation fell flat and the whole 75 minutes was cringe-worthy with people checking their mobile phones and twitching towards the fire escape. Nay mind.
Worked out a flyering rota. I’m on in a bit at the half price hut so best leg it. Toodle pip.

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21 August 2007 by Kirsty.

Spent this morning wading through the media contacts list leaving voicemails on busy editors’ phones in the hope of getting someone to review our show. Would be nice to get a review from a credible newspaper rather than some jumped up little pipsqueak writing notes on a handheld Blackberry with no spell check.
The sky has disappeared again today. It’s grim again. DVD weather. We’ve all become completely nocturnal now. You have to really to cope. Went to the Turkish baths at Portobello yesterday afternoon. Proper old ones. Really nice to sweat out the booze. The only off putting thing was this one bloke sitting in a lotus position in the corner in a pair of blood constricting speedos (thankfully the steam was quite thick) belching away. Honestly. Just sitting there doing really loud burps. Made two ladies leave. I’ll have to try it tomorrow- may be I’ll get the place to myself!

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20 August 2007 by Kirsty.

Lovely, lovely, lovely lie-in. Bliss. Half of us have got colds and are run down from eating crap, late nights and adrenaline. Heady cocktail. The normality of going to the supermarket and cooking is really warming in this mayhem. Poor Emma has an audition in London this afternoon (our day off) and has had to peg it down there and get back up here again for tomorrow’s show. Hope she gets it. Got a 3 star review from ThreeWeeks which reads better than the last one so lets hope we can get an extra star with each new one. If I did it all over again I’d change quite a few things and a big chunk of the script but there’s little you can do mid run.
Might check out the beach at Portobello today. Although had a preview of that the other day when Nina and I went down there for a trot and it was pretty chav. Couple of syringes swept up in the tide. A Wimpy. But my neighbour who saw Class last night mentioned that there’s some Russian baths up here. Might have to check that out.

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19 August 2007 by Kirsty.

It’s tipping it down. Yesterday was one big rain-a-thon. Not much fun to flyer in, especially whilst sporting hydro-degradable pumps. They had virtually disintegrated by the afternoon. Got us a slot on Festival FM yesterday morning. Had to pitch up to the radio recording studio at 11 to do an interview and excerpt from our play. Judging by the inability to tune in to 87.7 FM with any ease, it must be much more of an internet radio station. After a scenic tour of Leith- Nina and I got on the wrong bus (no euphemism for batting for the other team intended- just genuinely got on the wrong bus) and ended up running really late, getting out in Leith and then jumping in a minicab. Don’t you hate it when you’re in a desperate rush and the cabbie’s all chatty and ‘don’t worry darlin, I’ll get you there on time…’ and then proceeds to ask you to navigate from an out of date A-Z. Got there by skin of teeth. They interviewed another show before us. The DJ looked as interested in both their show and ours as Posh Spice is in chocolate. A tit in a trance. Did a bit of a preamble on Class. I sound about 12 on the phone and radio. Elisha has a great radio voice and did really well. Then the guys did part of the hospital scene related to class. Hope it got us some publicity.
Went for brunch. Pissed wet through. Went for coffee. Pissed wet through. Went to see Little Shop of Horrors. Cringed. Wished I’d brought my earplugs at times. Met my friends. Pissed wet through. Had tea and buns. Pissed wet through. Then did a couple of hours of flyering at the half price hut. Miserable but fruitful. Looking back on the report we sold 29 out of 30 of our half price tickets.
Last night’s show was GREAT! We had 85 in the audience. The place looked full. It was fantastic. Atmosphere is loads better when you get a good bunch in. Very chuffed. Finished up and read the review that One4Review.com wrote us. It’s a bad one. 2 stars only saying it didn’t work. Would be easier to take on the chin if their review was well written but it honestly looks like someone who hasn’t passed their GSCE English wrote it. The one good thing about it was that Kate got a really good write up. She’s doing fantastically. It’s bloody brilliant. So glad she’s Lynda. It’s a really genuine symbiosis of Lynda’s gutsy character and Kate’s great acting ability. Well done Kate.
Got bad M.E today. Shouldn’t have drunk whiskey and caffeine last night. Only had 3 drinks but really silly in my condition. Nay mind. Just gonna do nothing until later and get out flyering later. It’s still raining!

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16 August 2007 by Kirsty.

After yesterday’s front page euphoria follows fatigue. Zombies in the streets flyering in the rain. All pissed off. All pissed wet through. We draw more attention flyering in catsuits (Nigel & David excused) but have to be careful what we say about a show. We’re competing with 2.5k shows. “Brand new…”  “Brand new… oh bollocks to you then.” “Brand new comedy on this evening, about a guy who pretends to run a celebrity gastro gallery but secretly runs a down-market stripjoint. The show pokes fun at the whole thing. Would be great if you can make it. See you at eight thirty”.

Our venue keeps overrunning its programme which isn’t conducive to cast, crew or audience. The poor audience shows up and is forced to queue in the rain on the street for forty minutes, and get fed up and some leave. Meanwhile the cast are crammed in to the disabled loo getting hot and bothered and wound up by it constantly being another 5 minutes until get in. Get-in then compromises 15 minutes of panic as to where the soup granules ended up last night and whether anyone has blue tacked the end of the dancing canes. Yesterday’s involved a last minute panic for grapes. No grapes for the hospital scene. Shit. Was sent sprinting around the neighbouring shops which are all grape free zones. Ended up buying chocolates.

Half way through last night’s show we had the lead singer of the Stranglers warming up his vocal chords in the courtyard behing our venue with such gusto that our whole auditorium was filled with his dulcet tones. Very distracting competing with a booming tenor half way through a urinals monologue.

Was so tired last night and washed out with hype. Got the bus home straight after the show and went to bed with my earplugs and dreamt that I was deaf.

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15 August 2007 by Kirsty.

WE’RE ON THE FRONT COVER OF THE SCOTTISH METRO !!!!
We’re in the Scotsman and the Daily Record too… CAN’T BELIEVE IT
We had 5 press photographers show up amongst a whirlwind of bewildered passers-by. Four girls crammed in to the front window of Ann Summers as live mannequins and all the guys plus Sarah and I crammed in to full length patent PVC catsuits flyering our nads off on Prince’s Street. Was great. More of a publicity stunt than a true gain of potential punters but the photos that have appeared in today’s newspapers in Scotland are brilliant. Well done girls. Had to overcome body consciousness and urge to vomit over nervousness whilst being poured in to latex in the Ann Summers basement but it was all worth while in the end.

So… we’ve done one show- 12 to go. Got an audience of 44 people in. Was a bit of a nightmare as the venue had overrun on every show during the day so we went up 50 minutes late and the audience and cast were all really pissed off. It was pissing it down with rain and people were miserable. Then the venue itself was so roasting that people were sweltering during the show. Bit uncomfortable but all in all, we got through it and have one under our belt.

Must dash to do some press stuff.

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